I would say that writing a healthy romance takes a lot of work. And sometimes a lot of skill too. To me, a healthy romance means that the characters should not be subjected to abuse with their beloved. That is just warped.
Both sides should also fully respect and accept one another for their faults and their wishes. No one has to change completely to accommodate to someone else’s needs. Or one has to be the one always apologizing. Eventually, their relationship will break apart as it is unhealthy and wouldn’t be good to either side.
Romance and love to me includes a lot of give and take and compromises. That is what love is to me. Not just having pure adoration or admiration. Let face it, admiring someone is placing them on a pedestal and being perfect. And no one is perfect. Admiration is not a good form of love, it can become an obsession or something unhealthy. It isn’t a good thing at all.
So, the best kind of love is mutual respect and trust. They need to accept wholly the person before them, not just because he is hot so I will love him. That is a horrible reason to fall in love. Sadly, it is how most romances in young adult novels goes. It is just too shallow, and not about personality traits but about looks. Looks would fade, but the personality would never change. That’s the reality.
So, to me a healthy romance can be quick or slow but just depends on how it is handled here. That’s all I would say about their development, even though I pretty much prefer a slower development of things. It allows a better exploration of how well a fit they are for each other and whether they will be able to live with each other or not.
Because love isn’t shallow, it needs a lot of depth too. These characters are spending their lives and their years together, I would prefer to see a good healthy ending. Where both are able to accept each other for their faults and their weaknesses as much as for their strengths.
These are what I would consider a part of a healthy romance. Feel free to leave a comment on what you think would be a healthy romance and what isn’t. I really look forward to knowing what you think.