I didn’t read the whole book just the sample and it was way more than enough to turn me off in the wrong way. And yes, I’m judging this based on the sample because I have seen reviews which prompted me to just read the sample and judge. Actually just the prologue which was way too long.
There are some very awkward errors, such as the use of ellipses when a full stop could have just served the purpose. And some very basic grammar mistakes concerning dialogue was there, I see that from free writing sites not this.
And personally, it was more annoying dialogue wise, it just made me want to cringe and it was awkward as hell. And unbelievably childish, I was thinking them no older than twelve year old.
And the writing was amateurish and immature all the while feeling unprofessional overall. And some parts were skimmed over when they could have been deeper, and even reveal a little more about the character. Yes, it’s about the boy from Hong Kong and his past, it was skimmed over when he felt interesting to me even though it was entirely unrealistic just for him to . And show me the whole world. And Wai Keong, I agree with you that Raphael is annoying. He really is.
And seriously, who doesn’t even write the master’s name and just call him that. I don’t know if it’s to keep up some mysterious manner, but I seriously don’t care.
As for the format, two fonts in this book I don’t know what to say. It was awkward to read it. The dialogue sometimes has it, and it’s just to me: WTF?
And for the Sactus, they feel horribly immature and I wouldn’t even trust them, and I completely connect with Wait Keong, because he also thinks them too good to be true and I just cannot believe them.
And as for Rhea, she feels like a big chosen one/Mary Sue wihtout even meeting her, knowing that she was a princess and a Knight Of Iris and almost everything. She’s royalty all around being kept by her own mother, and I have only one question for Rhea’s mother Angelique, is she too stupid to live? You think that your daughter could be hidden from the world, and not even know it. Yup, mother who thinks shielding her own daughter from the dangers of the Nefarii with only ignorance is a good thing. Even though she would have to face her destiny? Can this get any better?
And her later interest being sparked by the fact her daughter is a Knight Of Iris, and her abilities wouldn’t stay hidden. It sounds like a chosen one with a neon sign on her. And her mother still chooses to use her life to save her.
Characters wise, I cannot remember them. There is almost no fascinating traits that makes me want to read them. Wai Keong was short lived, the rest, their dialogue was more than enough to tell me that they weren’t interesting. It was boring to even read them, as I didn’t care enough about them and there were no traits which stood out enough. Apart from powers, personality wise, they are flat very flat.
I seriously won’t reconmend this, the only thing interesting was the ability to highlight parts of the story and write sarcastic and condescending notes on it. It was the most fun, but the best when done on eBook.
Rating: 1 out of 5